I’ve helped and protected many during my years on this earth, but I’ve never felt as helpless as I did with Rayna Mudwing Guilbeau. If I could have screamed and cried with this child, I would have. Many think a cursed doll has no feelings, no empathy for a broken, human heart. They’re wrong. I’ve felt anger, heartache, love and regret … especially regret.
I came to Rayna when she was a toddler. She was as happy as any baby I’d ever seen. Made me question why she would ever need me. Surely such a smiling beauty would have her pick of good men. I’m afraid I let her sweetness cause me to lose my focus. She made me feel human. Maternal. While I basked in her affection for me, I was taken off guard. I forgot that precious children are often born into evil families. That was certainly Rayna’s fate. Was I supposed to protect her from her family?
In the dead of night, no matter where I am or who I belong to, I still hear Rayna whimpering my name: “Tiva, my Tiva.” That’s what she named me the moment the mute woman handed me to her. She opened her arms and laughed. “Tiva.” I loved hearing her giggles. Rayna filled my cold bones with warmth and joy.
The fights began. The accusations. The threats. The smell of burnt flesh. No call for that! God destroy anyone—anyone—who harms a child! I say those words often, but only in my head.
Rayna was taken away. I was tossed aside, given to one and then another, went through much until I found my way back to that devil’s house in Oklahoma City. Funny how things happen.
The moment I was stuffed in a box and placed on the front porch of that hell-hole called Wounded Heart, I knew Rayna had come home. I was wary of what she may have become (inside and out) but I shouldn’t have been. She squealed, “Tiva. It’s Tiva.” She pulled me out of the box and familiar love and laughter bathed over me like that feather duster the old mute used when she changed my dress and cleaned me up.
I wanted to cry. Don’t tell me cursed dolls can’t weep with joy—I know differently. Of course, I didn’t. Instead, I looked over her shoulder and saw the funniest looking guy. Extremely cute, in a too-much-wild-hair-lop-sided-grin-curious-about-that-ugly-doll way. I knew what he was thinking.
And I knew without a doubt that he loved Rayna. If he hadn’t had a smart mouth, I wouldn’t have given him such horrendous head-aches. I felt bad punishing him for his uncontrollable wit. He didn’t deserve it. I saw his love for her, his protectiveness—his strength. He proved himself worthy. He took everything I dished out and he hung in there. He’ll never love me as much as she does, but he’s willing to try. I trust him. Good thing too. I wouldn’t want to have lost my so-called life without knowing he and the last daughter were in love . . . and safe.
Whew! I’ve never come so close to death. Made me realize there are people out there so much worse than a cursed doll.
The Last Daughter by Jessica Ferguson – Available in 2013 – Watch for it!
Alicia Dean said:
Tiva, your story made me want to weep. Very moving. I’m so glad you found your way back to Rayna, and that she can have a shot at happiness in her adult life after the way she suffered as a child. Can’t wait for her story to come out!
jess said:
Thanks Alicia. Tiva, Rayna and Trent really do deserve a happily everafter.
Heidi Vanlandingham said:
What a moving story. I agree no child should suffer through what Rayna endures. Unfortunately, this seems to be happening more and more, thus making your job imperative.
jess said:
Thanks Heidi. Every child should have a Tiva. 🙂
Calisa Rhose said:
What a good soul you are Tiva…at least in one way. Your story sounds intriguing and I can’t wait to read it!
jess said:
Calisa, can’t wait until Tiva, Trent and Rayna hit the stands … I mean, the Internet! Thanks for popping in.
Pamela S Thibodeaux said:
Wow! Great post and the story sound awesome! I am so happy for you!!
jess said:
You’ve always been such an encourager, Pam!
maccrowne said:
Jess, for an introvert, you sure helped Tiva fly! 😉 What a great post. I’m looking forward to Tiva, Rayna and Trent’s adventure.
jess said:
Mac, thanks so much, and also for popping over. I LIVE on paper. 🙂
stargazer12 said:
The doll becomes a “living” character! Good to hear from you, Jess. Okla. must be agreeing with you. Miss you. Love.
jess said:
Hi Pat, thanks for your comment. I sure miss you. You’re in my thoughts constantly. Unfortunately, Jim and I LOVE Oklahoma! LOL That has daughter worried. 🙂
Jan Rider Newman said:
Sounds intriguing, Jess. I want to know more about the old mute too.
jess said:
Leave it to you, Jan, to hone in on the old mute. Believe me, you’ll know more about her. She fascinates me too!
Margaret Tanner said:
Hi Jess,
Great post, and your story certainly sounds rivetting.
Cheers
Margaret
jess said:
Thanks Margaret. Come back to see us.
Anna Kittrell said:
Such an awesome post! And such an awesome story, I might add. I was fortunate enough to get a sneak peek of The Last Daughter, back in the early stages 🙂 It was great then, and I’m sure it’s even more FANTASTIC now. Jess, your characters are very memorable. And Tiva–I have only words of praise and kind thoughts for you. For I’d like to sleep tonight.
jess said:
Anna, thanks so much! Your sneak peek helped me tremendously. And sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of Tiva. Cr-e-e-e-e-py!
Sherry Perkins said:
Jess, love this story. You drew me right in from the beginning. Like your twist on giving the cursed doll a conscience and feelings. Congrats! You are a great writer. Keep at it.
jess said:
Sherry, I love the word GREAT. 🙂 Thanks for popping in.
Diana Layne said:
Ah, Tiva, what a blessing you are, an amazing tale.
jess said:
Kinda wild telling a cursed doll she’s a blessing. 🙂 But, in this tale, that’s the way it is–sorta. Thanks, Diana!
Tamrie Foxtail said:
I’m glad there’s someone out there looking after the children.
jess said:
You can bet Tiva is trying her best! Thanks for stopping by Tamrie.
Stanley Klemetson said:
Tiva tells an interesting story with just hints of the complete story. I look forward to the details of the story of Rayna and others.
jess said:
Stan, thanks so much for reading and leaving a comment. You encourage me so much. Hope you have a great, productive 2013.
Ro said:
You give such a unique ‘voice’ to Tivia that you make her credible. Amazing. Well done!
jess said:
Thanks Ro. I hope she comes across credible in the book too! 🙂 Sometimes we get to know our characters better after the fact. Glad you popped in. .
Kathy L Wheeler said:
The children need looking after. Leaves a peaceful feel.
Praise, Prayers and Observations said:
Without a doubt, Kathy!
Gloria Alden said:
Fascinating, Jessica. I hate to hear of children being mistreated, but it sounds like it worked out in the end.
Praise, Prayers and Observations said:
It was a close call, Gloria. Thanks for popping in.
cgramlich said:
I certainly love this title. I’ll have to start checking out this blog.
Jess said:
Thanks for popping in, Charles!
Pingback: Do You Know What You Don't Know? - Jessica Ferguson