Tags
drowning, fear, fire, Kathy L Wheeler, Romance, sardonic, tongue in cheek, Writing
So I was watching the History International channel a couple of weeks ago. Sort of dozing off and on (surprising, don’t you think? I mean with writing, editing, socializing . . . uh, I mean, networking, NBA Finals—who has time for sleep?) Er, sorry, I’m tired and then sidetracked—
And in my half in/out slumber, the narrator was talking about drowning. Yes, drowning. (Appropriately, known as Aquaphobia). You know, where the sensation of tearing and burning occurs in the chest as water goes down the airway. Of course, then the panic sets in, gasping, followed by swallowing water. Eventually, you’d slip into a feeling of calmness—strange, isn’t it?—Unfortunately, that calmness represents the beginning of loss of consciousness from oxygen deprivation, which will result in the heart stopping and brain death. My advice? Don’t panic.
Gruesome, is it not?
I actually did not know any of this when I wrote The
Color of Betrayal, in which Rosa, the scrimshaw doll causes that drowning sensation in Luke Riser, the hero.
Very odd. . .
[Sorry, back to the History Channel] Then, the narrator went on to talk about fire. Pyrophobia.
The worse one he touched on was rats. How they were used as medieval torture. Ugh. I’ll spare you the details on that disgusting segment. (But if you happen to write medieval historical, your welcome.)
I find phobias an interesting phenomenon. Webster defines Phobia as a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.
I don’t care for clowns. I think they are creepy, but I wouldn’t classify my dislike as a phobia as I don’t think I really have a compelling desire to avoid them—not in a persistent irrational manner, at any rate.
I did stumble upon a phobia called Leukophobia – fear of the color white.
So, of course there its counterpart, Melanophobia – fear of the color black.
I live in Oklahoma, so one would conclude that I am naturally Lilapsophobic –that I, um, fear tornadoes and hurricanes. Alas, I am not.
I’ll admit to one fear I harbor. Only there isn’t a long, official, medical term for my fear. It’s the fear of rejection. In my research, however, the closest phobia to
rejection I found was a fear referred to as Logophobia. It didn’t quite fit. Logophobia is a fear of words! <snort> I obviously do not fear words. Unfortunately, I fear what other people think of my words. The email that starts with: Thank you for your interest, but—
Yes, those kinds of words.
But, I am one to face my fears head on. Case in point: I sing. And, I am terrified of singing before others, but I do it. Why? To combat my fear. For some reason, I don’t feel the same about speaking, as a rule. And, I hate tomatoes, but that’s not a phobia. So I don’t feel compelled to eat them.
Fear, in some instances, is healthy of course. Staying out of harm’s way is a good thing. It’s when we allow our fear to out-balance our natural existence that it becomes a problem. So what do you fear? And how do you confront it?
So, tell me. . .if you’re not too afraid———————
Words by Kathy L Wheeler
jess said:
You nailed it, Kathy. I have so many phobias I don’t dare talk about them! What do you do about a phobia?
Kathy L Wheeler said:
I think the most important thing to do is breathe!!! A lot of things will fall away with that simple action. Sometimes allowing room for a solution.
Pingback: Primal Fear ~ by Kathy L Wheeler | Kathy L Wheeler - Author
Julia Mozingo said:
Wow! Kathy, this is wonderful information, especially for a writer. Think I’ll transfer the knowledge to my characters, delve more into their fears. Simply brilliant post, Kathy!
Kathy L Wheeler said:
Thanks, Julia. It does help make our characters more believable when we give them human frailties.
Celia said:
I think it is important to head into every fear – especially the fear of rejection. Rejection doesn’t change your life, only acceptance dies. If your book gets turned down, you are in exactly the same place! You just have to think what would happen IF… The possibilities are endless. And always worth a chance.
Celia said:
I think it is important to head into every fear – especially the fear of rejection. Rejection doesn’t change your life, only acceptance does. If your book gets turned down, you are in exactly the same place! You just have to think what would happen IF… The possibilities are endless. And always worth a chance.
Kathy L Wheeler said:
Well, said, my friend.
Alicia Dean said:
Okay, this is an awesome post, and it’s right up my alley (hope no one has a fear of alleys…what’s that called?). If you don’t actually have a fear of clowns, you must not have read or seen IT by Stephen King. that’s one scary ass clown. I actually like to be scared, so I have always watched scary movies and read and written scary stories. But I am sure a good ole, get-your-heart-racing, creeped-out, all-in-fun scare is different from an actual phobia.
I don’t know if I have a true phobia, but when I was a kid, even though I was the ‘brave’ one in the family, the one who always scared my siblings, I was afraid of (in no particular order) The Grand Canyon, sharks, werewolves, and the Wicked Witch of the East from The Wizard of Oz (even though she died right at the beginning, it freaked me out the way her feet curled up when she was under the house). Now, I don’t have a real true phobia, I don’t believe.
Kathy, I’m curious. If you have a phobia of rejection and you combat your fear by singing, if you pitch to an editor and they tell you they’re not interested, do you start belting out show tunes? 🙂
Kathy L Wheeler said:
I’m not sure. but there’s this one: rupophobia, fear of garbage. You might suffer from this: “merriment and gaiety – fear of merriment and gaiety, but you know, of course, that the Martini Club is doing all in their power to help you overcome this most crippling of phobias.
Kathy L Wheeler said:
Kathy, I’m curious. If you have a phobia of rejection and you combat your fear by singing, if you pitch to an editor and they tell you they’re not interested, do you start belting out show tunes?
That did almost happen one time. I was pitching the Cinderella Series to Miriam Goderich, of Dystel & Goderich. *** Excellent question, btw.
Alicia Dean said:
I appreciate your help with the fear of merriment. 🙂 I will go to MC as many times as it takes to get over my phobia!
LOL. Well at least you only ‘almost.’ I guess you were going to sing something from Rodgers and Hammerstein?
Kathy L Wheeler said:
Certainly. “A Lovely Night”
A lovely night, a lovely night, A finer night you know you’ll never find.
You meet your prince, a charming prince. as charming as a prince you’ll ever see.
The stars in a hazy heaven tremble above you While he is whispering: “Darling I Love you”
You say good-bye, away you fly, but on your lips you keep a kiss
All your life you’ll dream of this, Lovely, lovely night.
Anna Kittrell said:
My debilitating phobia (I have a few phobias, but don’t consider them debilitating) has been alleviated DRAMATICALLY by doing something that I love–attending monthly writers’ meetings in downtown Oklahoma City. Before joining OKRWA, no amount of begging or bribery could have persuaded me to journey into OKC city limits, let alone downtown! For as long as I can remember, I’ve possessed a deep-seated fear of driving outside my comfort zone–a feeling that I may get lost and fall from the face of the earth, and look pretty stupid doing it. The fear even spilled over into my nightmares.
The fact that I love being a part of OKRWA has forced me (and my writing buddy, Tianne) to repeatedly face that irrational fear and press through it. If I avoid the drive, I miss the meeting. The reward finally outweighed the fear. I believe that is the key to combating any phobia.
(I also fear grasshoppers–but if any of you try to alleviate my phobia by tossing one onto me, I can’t be responsible for my actions.)
Kathy L Wheeler said:
Well! I have several answers for you, Anna. First of all, you might suffer partly from (Hodophobia – fear of traveling). There is no actual phobic term for Driving in a large city, We would have to combine it with a term coined by Kris Bradburn (http://wanderingink.wordpress.com/2006/10/11/urbanphobia/), something likeHodourbanphobia to cover your particular fear.
The important thing is that you overcame your fear by doing what you feared most! Driving into an Urban downtown area. And now its been three or so years. I’m so happy for you. Because if you hadn’t overcome this debilitating phobia, I would never have had the pleasure of meeting and know you! and your writing buddy, the next Pres of OKRWA.
Incidentally, your irrational fear of grasshoppers, is kindly referred to as Acridophobia. (Your next goal, perhaps?)
Kathy L Wheeler said:
This is truly terrifying, all. Arachibutyrophobia – it means being afraid of having peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth.
Lisa Rayns said:
Arachnophobia. Guilty. Great post.
Kathy L Wheeler said:
Yes, well. I’ve recently developed that after a 2 month stint with two hospital visits, 2 months of dr appt, a reaction to an antibiotic. All for a stupid spider bite, I never even felt!
Leah St. James said:
Great post, Kathy. My biggest fear since I was a kid was fear of public speaking. The older I got, the worse my fear. It got to a point where I had to read something at a small committee meeting (like 12 people), and I had an honest-to-goodness panic attack. It was awful, so embarrassing. Several years later I had to read one of my short stories in front of a group of about 50 people. Again I thought I’d die, until I saw a teenage girl in the ladies’ room who also had to read. She was so panicked she was sobbing, and sobbing. There I was, old enough to be her mother and more, and I still hadn’t conquered this fear. I think it flipped a switch in my brain, helped me to understand that nothing was going to happen if I sucked other than people would know/think I sucked. I did a lot of praying in the moments leading up to my reading, and I got through it without my voice shaking like it usually did. Since then I’ve worked up to speaking on panels and even moderating panels (now THAT’S scary!). I won’t say I’m totally comfortable these days, but I don’t lie awake at night worrying for days before the event.
Kathy L Wheeler said:
Hi, Leah. Thank you for sharing this. While the post was meant as tongue in cheek, in no way is it meant to undermine someone’s legitimate fears.
I’m not sure why I can speak in front of others and feel okay, and not feel just as comfortable singing. I think it has something to do with loving to sing as a kid and my dad making fun of me. I did push through it, but even now (and I’m in my 50s) I don’t believe I could sing in front of him. And what’s sad is, I know he loves me. Crazy.
Anna Kittrell said:
I am in the monthly song solo rotation at church. Sometimes I have a talk with myself to remind me that it is selfish to get so panicked and worked up before going onstage. Instead of fixating on ME and how uncomfortable I am, I should instead be focusing on what needs to be conveyed to others, the message in the song. Isn’t that why we publicly sing and speak, anyway? Because we have something worthwhile that we want to communicate with the audience? When I can calm my nerves enough to get into this frame of mind, it helps tremendously.
Kathy L Wheeler said:
That would be great to focus on, if everything didn’t fly out of your head the minute you stepped out there.
Anna Kittrell said:
True ‘Dat! 🙂
Linda Joyce said:
Anna,
Where you from, girl? You speakin’ my language! lol.
True ‘Dat!
Linda Joyce
Linda Joyce said:
Kathy,
Loved the post!
My list of fears used to be long. 🙂
Smiles,
Linda Joyce
Kathy L Wheeler said:
Thank heavens, someone’s has shrunk. That IS what you are saying, right?
Linda Joyce said:
Yes, I’m less fearful. 🙂
Anna Kittrell said:
Linda, I’m from Anadarko, Oklahoma-AKA-Dodge-AKA-Indian City, USA.
Heidi Frech Vanlandingham said:
Great post, Kathy! I love watching the history channels and have found tons of interesting shows over the years. Call it morbid fascination, but I am very interested in anything “quirky” regarding the human psyche. I’ve always considered my one true fear as just an obsessive-compulsive trait, but evidently (I, of course, had to look it up and read all about it) I suffer from Pocrescophobia or the fear of gaining weight. *sigh* I suffered from anorexia in high school that led to a laxative addiction. I’m still dealing with the thoughts daily. Wait a minute–maybe I’m also Eisoptrophobia (fear of seeing myself in a mirror) or even Nudophobia (fear of nudity). I’m so screwed…
Kathy L Wheeler said:
Well, the only advice I can offer, is If you’re afraid of mismatched socks or asymmetrical objects, then you have asymmetriphobia.
Calisa Rhose said:
Spiders. It doesn’t mater the size, I shiver and often scream. I’ve been known to yank off pieces of clothing and run wildly to escape them. I can proudly say I can hold back the terror sometimes finally after all these years and just back away, but don’t ask me to kill one.
Other fears include speaking in public and being in the spotlight. Odd since I used to sing in church and other venues and it didn’t bother me. I even taught my three girls to sing and they have all performed at different times in church and school talent contests. My oldest daughter even sang at my middle daughter’s wedding. But speak? I have a hard time of it.
Is there a word for fear of dying in fire?
Kathy L Wheeler said:
The closest thing I found was pyrophobia. Of course, everyone remembers the movie Arachnophobia. A very common fear of spiders. I’m not so scared of spiders until they start walking toward me. There used to be one on the side of my bathtub I named George. It was kind of cute, as long as he stayed in his area and allowed me mine. Then one day he was gone. Hmmm. I wonder if my husband did away with him, or if he went on an adventure down the drain…
Calisa Rhose said:
My sister had a friend named Stevie, until a guy named Stevie tucked Stevie into his pocket for an adventure uptown one day… No more Stevie. 🙂
winonabennettcross said:
Phobias! Yikes! We all have one or more I think. I am terrified of snakes, spiders, and bugs (except lady bugs) in that order. Once when my boys were young I saw a snake outside my dining room window. I stayed inside and told the boys to go kill it. I watched as they bombarded it with rocks and bricks. Later I learned it was a copperhead. Oh my God! I still feel guilty about that one.
I don’t have any trouble speaking in front of groups. Probably because of my years in nursing, bereavement counseling, and community education.
I fear failure–and success . . .
I fear, or at least hate, this growing older gig. I hate the wrinkles, the gray, the sagginess, and the loss of what little beauty I once had.
I fear my granddaughters and/or other family members being ashamed of my obesity. I am disgusted by it but find it difficult beyond words to lose weight. Is that some kind of phobia or just a personality fault? Who knows?
Kathy, you’ve written a great and thought provoking post. Good job.
Kathy L Wheeler said:
Thank you, Winona. It’s difficult to confront those fears. But we each need to fix what we can and accept what we can’t. Of course, that’s easier said than done, isn’t it. Thank you for sharing. That’s the hardest part of all.
tamriefoxtail said:
I’m with you on the clowns. [Dramatic shiver here.] I’m also afraid of bugs, roaches worst of all. Just writing the word makes me uncomfortable. I can’t go sleep it the trash hasn’t been taken out or there are dirty dishes. I keep imaging a line of bugs marching up the street and into my house… I think I also have a fear of success. I get close to my dreams then just…fizzle.
winonabennettcross said:
One word—IT!
Kathy L Wheeler said:
Awww. Tamrie. Lucky for you, you have friends who will drag you kicking and screaming to success.
Pingback: 10 More Extremely Bizarre Phobias | Illuminutti
Pingback: Tales of the Scrimshaw Doll, Romance, Paranormal, Contemporary, HIstorical
Pingback: Primal Fear – Delivering the Black | Metal Is Power